Inspired by the Uninspiring

I think I've been going about this in all the wrong ways. Coordination has never been my forte and I keep accidentally ignoring the grace in what is not beautifully executed. Oops. I need to change that. Maybe if the parts are well made than the rest will fall into place. Though nothing is without fault, including myself. I really need to listen to my heart.. when he's calling for you? I like techno... in the right circumstances. I need to start finding myself in the right circumstances because a lot of things aren't working as is. If it ain't broken then don't fix it, but who do you call when it is broken? Ghostbusters? I think not. I think there is a lot of hope and love and joy and happiness all around me and at all times. Why does it take such a huge effort to fight to be happy? It's like everything in the world is meant to bring you down, so just staying afloat is a struggle in itself. How are you supposed to get anything else done. What if you constantly deny what you know will make you happy? Maybe then you don't know it will make you happy? Questions, questions. What do you do when you find yourself looking in the face of the potential disaster monster? And you know that the only way to figure out if you made the right decision is after a significant amount of time? And this monster has multiplied and has several monster siblings that are equally if not scarier and are closing in on you as well? That's kind of where I am.

45 minutes later...

We just had a jam session. A roomie jam sesh.

Oh! Hello.

Maybe if I aim higher, I won't fail as badly? Maybe if I figure out what I want, I can stop being selfish? Or just more able to communicate my inner workings... that sounds biological. Inner workings = feelings, so it's not biological... well I guess it's kind of biological. Maybe more chemical. I think I might have developed a fear of commitment. Gosh, I'm so normal. I appreciate honesty, but I'm not sure if I'm a fan of it as of now... Actually, I'm not a fan of honesty as of now. Though I would like it to be part of my life. Sometimes I can read people, sometimes I can read books, sometimes I can only read Cosmo. My bur rain is fuh ried. I like it. Well, maybe appreciate is a better word. Uuuhkay buh bye.

Breaky Break

Christmas break has been a mind fuck, but in a positive way. I've learned a lot.