Sunday Funday

Greetings from Chicago, folks!

I'm excited to see what unfolds.

I went to an awesome church today and in a few hours Maple Anne is going to be a Catholic dog. It's the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi today, so a lot of churches are throwing blessings out there for the four legged. Luckily, I have a nice sweater for Maple... because everyone knows blessings count more when you are wearing your finest threads.

I need to get out there and do some exploring. My days lack a lot of structure because I'm still in the transition zone... aka unemployed. I think transition zone is a better term for it. Maybe this week I'll get a job? Maybe I'll make a new friend? Maybe I'll see an elephant? There is a free zoo nearby so these are very possible things.

Can't wait for my bus card to  arrive in the mail.

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Foreshadow: I think this may end up to be more rambly than cohesive. That's okay.

Everything is trying to escape out of that mental door at once, but subsequently each thing is getting stuck. Maybe I should just pull from the pile, you know?

I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I like to brush my teeth with warm water. I hardly ever turn on the cold water in the bathroom- or any other room, really. Does that mean something? Probably not, but I always think about it when I'm in the act of brushing. I feel the need to confess that tiny detail of my life, so there you go.

Hold on a sec.

Okay, I just took off this blog address from my Facebook page. I'm so private. Just kidding. But seriously, I feel like this is in between needing to be just for myself and for the world to see... which means it's just for my friends... Hi, Lolo.

Life things:
Part I- People, Places, and Things
I'm moving in a very short while. The end of September to be exact, October 1st to be exacter. I still don't know entirely what I'm looking for, but I have a better understanding. I think guidance is a great thing, but there are times when you are guided to wing it and wing it I shall. I miss my friends more than ever. How spoiled we were to have ever lived in the same state as those that we love. Hard to give that up, but harder yet to ever get it back again. Maybe life will bring us to a similar location or maybe we'll start racking up frequent flyer miles. I do have unlimited talk and text, so that's the good news.

Part II- I Told Myself
And I keep telling myself a lot of things. I'm trying to dance around certain thoughts because I'm moderately uncomfortable discussing my romantic endeavors on the world wide web. A year can go by very quickly regardless of the correctness of your decisions or the people you spend that time with. I oopsidentally spent the past year with someone I shouldn't have, but it was also a major learning experience. I spent a year with a streetlamp.  It was valuable time spent in a sense- as in I won't do it again, but it was also a year... and that's hard to grasp. I'm only 23 and each year seems so vast. Time is flying now, in a way it never has before and the thought of a year long lesson seems so harsh. A whole year, you know? I forgot what it felt like to have a good old fashioned school girl crush on someone. Maybe I thought I outgrew those feelings, but I didn't and that's a good thing. Chemistry varies with every unique individual in your life. There are people who I feel so electric around and then there are those who make me feel sedated. Then there's the romantic chemistry part of things and connections you were never aware of just waiting for a spark.

Part III- Post Spark-ulation
So then what? Is it too risky? Maybe it's just that I told myself I wouldn't... along with a lot of other things. Keep it light. Go on dates, but don't get serious. Is that a real thing or did that just seem like a really smart thing to say? Don't worry, I'm  keeping it light, but I just want to know where certain hesitations come from.

I think three parts is enough.

I like you.

Well, that was a random and fun hour. Who would of thunk? I should probably stop posting these short cryptic blogs, but I feel like broadcasting too many things at this point in inappropriate. That means that a real journal is in order, but they are all still packed up in boxes at the other end of the house.

Beer buzz & a backbone

Self-explanatory. When does life stop being weird? Does it ever get to the non-weird point? Do you ever figure yourself out? No? Okay.

What just happened? Over the past few days? In the past year? I'm still really good at lying to myself. I'm still really in love with the idea of love and really bad at discerning who or what I should throw that love towards. I'll figure it out. I feel much less like a plastic bag in the breeze and much more like a foam cup. I'm catching less air in the good way. Life lessons come slowly, but so do changes. I don't think I would change a thing, but now here I am at the restart; deciding who I am now, what I take away, and how I carry on.

Why do I always feel so liberated after break ups? Is this a good sign or a bad sign?

Maybe I'm just a big fan of possibility. I mean I am so you can take out that maybe.

Different Places

Life is so silly.

Presto Change, oh!

Chicago is up next. Nailing down a place to live was a difficult task, but the generous Jenn Bunny was able to pull this task off on her own! She took all the stress and worry out of it for me and for that (and other things) I am incredibly grateful. Changes are on the horizon as the person I am continually argues with, pulls at, and finds ways to emulate the person I want to be. Deeeeep. :)

Hello, mellow.

Hey there! Long time, no talk... per usual. There have been lots of changes and lots of growing up. I feel the need to express that here without the boring details. I think a new blog is in order soon, but I appreciate the long road this one has traveled. Not so much in quantity of posts, but in the amount of time that has passed between the first ever and now. My muse has finally settled down in her sleeping near my keyboard position. We just had a photo shoot, the products of which I will post later on in this update. Hoarders in on the TV in the background and I've got about ten minutes until a fresh episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Living the life! I'm taking advantage of the cable while I'm home. I've been kicking it with my squeeze in Bloomington for the past two months now. It's been a much bigger change than I thought it would be. Taking off satisfied some need for adventure and made me realize I had to go further with it before settling in one spot. My darling and I have been growing closer and more realistic on the daily.  I don't know where life will lead the both of us. I've grown fond of morphing into a spider monkey and launching myself into his arms, only to fear hitting my head on the ceiling when we're at an even height. I think I was grossly mistaken when I thought at a previous time that no one would understand me, or that when someone loved me then they were the one who would understand all of my delicate intricacies. We all are delicate I suppose, complicated too, but very obvious. It was never that someone couldn't understand me, it was more that I was just protecting myself by withholding the greater part of my heart and giving away the trimmings. So now, here is this man who dove in head first and as much as I tried to convince both he and I that he didn't understand me in the least, he did. I tried throwing the curve balls and he asked me questions and forced me to explain why I did what I did or thought the thoughts that I had a hard time hiding from. He brought me on an adventure that made me realize I have to continue on without him directly glued by my side. I know he has to be just as scared as I am, but he doesn't let it eat him up. I've learn so much from this guy. Next up is another great adventure. Maybe this time I'll keep you updated! : )

Hey there, long lost friend!

I think God speaks to me through pups. Lulu was a pleasant little surprise that packed so much love into her punch. She never hit me... well, physically. Emotionally, she was a hitter. She was what I needed at a really weird time in my life. Coincidence? I think not. She was full of love and this neediness that I needed. Fast forward almost a year and in struts a pound of wonderful, Miss Maple Anne. After dealing with the death of my favorite Gramps, I needed something. I wasn't sure what. I started searching... petfinder. After many threats from my parents (with whom I now reside and would inevitably partake in this dog rearing feat) and some stunningly sneaky phone calls, I arranged to meet up and adopt a little Chihuahua. I don't understand how she landed in my lap- I mean I do, I searched for dogs on a website and up came her little face- but bigger than that... She's cute as ballz and I don't understand how anyone could pass her up, even from a strictly aesthetic perspective. How did she even end up in a shelter? Ya dig? Some major stars aligned or God pointed me in a puppy direction when I needed something I couldn't find on my own. I wasn't just going to go full dog-lady and adopt anything with whiskers, I passed up a ton of very cute four legged friends... but something just happened when I saw her picture on the website. Her little forehead wrinkle was begging for a new beginning. She was mine in an instant that seemed planned for much longer than I was aware. She's my love child and my sassy friend. Lulu had to be put down a few weeks ago. It was awful, of course, but it makes sense. She came into our house with a sweet soul and perfect timing and went when we started making strides in a new direction. Okay, she totally doesn't know that but maybe there is some kind of animal instinct providing that kind of insight. After bringing Lu to the vet, we came home to two old broads and a young lady. They're always so excited to see you, ya know? They are genuinely unreal in their love and excitement. I want to be like that.

Modern Day Life

I should get back to this sucker.