I'm not so sure where that leaves us.
Regression:
-arrested development: an abnormal state in which development has stopped prematurely
-(psychiatry) a defense mechanism in which you flee from reality by assuming a more infantile state
-returning to a former state
-A home video made with a few of my closest pals that was then reluctantly made public via interweb by a concerned-for-my-future friend. Still one of my favorite videos.
I don't know best, better, or worse... nor do I claim to. My thoughts and feelings of needing to voice said thoughts come from a place of not wanting regression in any capacity (except for unlimited viewings of that wonderful mini-film). Also a place of knowing that going backwards is the opposite of going forward so why travel southernly?
In the end only kindness matters. But seriously... I think maybe that's the truth in it all.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Admiral's Feast: In Honor of, but no Relation to, the Stratties Being in Town
The quick version of my thought: When do we stop entertaining our own annoyances/quirks/preferences in place of someone else's habits/carelessnesses/nonchalant actions? Where is the line? If we stop, does that free up a huge capacity for loving more deeply/more fully/more Godly-er?
Endless question version: Why does stuff matter?
I notice things. A lot of things. I always want to know how people feel for empathic reasons and a general curiosity in matters dealing with the human condition. This leads to an increased capacity for annoyances and a desire to right the "wrongs" of others- like, really, don't shuffle your feet. I won't punish you for it but I might mention it. Now, this serves a purpose at times- I get to pass on the wisdom my mother taught me at a young age, such as slurping is the devil. However, on the flipper flopper, it closes much of my being off. When I'm annoyed, kindness seems to fly out the window. I can only focus on the behavior immediately violating my norms.
I really love learning, especially those draining/life viewpoint changing/beautiful lessons... and for some reason, these are the kinds of lessons I've been facing a lot lately. Rapid succession. It makes me feel lucky.
So if you only think with/assume/conclude/and act on love, what happens? If I could be disciplined enough to totally avoid mentally falling into the annoyance zone I think I could blow up the whole world with kind-sunshiney-love-sparkles. Seriously, it's the new goal.
Now here's the thing, annoyances are valid, as all feelings are... but unlike other feelings, they are only triggers. They're like a smokescreen for other problems that reside at a deeper level, so in this way they are valid. Because really, why does the occasional slurp or shuffle mean it's OK to verbally murder your fellow man. They act as pitfalls in quite a literal sense. I fall into them often. It allows me to blame something insignificant, instead of actually thinking about what is really at fault. It gives you permission to be a total bitch in response to undeserving, nominal stimuli. But, that's a huge lie. Acting like a raging meanie is not permissible ever. No one deserves to be the unassuming target. No one warrants the luxury of being cruel to any degree.
Some other things I pondered relating to the delicate matter of annoyances: I'm probably way more annoying than any of my unassuming victims of picky rage.
True Life: We're all really fucking annoying.
Part II: Why is it OK to have the lowest patience level with people you love most? Why is it so much easier to accept the total stranger's annoying habits and not those of the people who want the best for you/love you the most/you love the most? I know time spent with the other is an issue here, but isn't more a matter of the heart? Maybe it's one the ways absolute earthly love and hate kind of line up.
Finally, here's the thing: Don't get me wrong- I've never completely blown up on someone (outside of a giggle/yell during a particularly stressful Open House rehearsal) but it consumes me in the worst ways... the silent ways, the grit your teeth ways, the I don't want to enjoy your company because you're chewing too loud ways. Increased tolerance is never bad and I'm searching for it in new ways. A limited level of patience will only lead to a limited capacity for learning and feeling from the others' perspectives, and that is a devastating thought.
So here's to being your best best and never taking a love lesson for granted. Let's blow up the world with enormous explosions of patience-love-kindness-sparkles and never use another's shuffle or weird throat eating noises as an excuse to explode hate-meanness-impatience on their unassuming beings. In doing so, I bet we turn out to be less annoying too... because if you are sending out your best, wouldn't you naturally cater to all those around you, even on a subconscious level?
Please do give me your thoughts, peepz!
Peace and Love!
Endless question version: Why does stuff matter?
I notice things. A lot of things. I always want to know how people feel for empathic reasons and a general curiosity in matters dealing with the human condition. This leads to an increased capacity for annoyances and a desire to right the "wrongs" of others- like, really, don't shuffle your feet. I won't punish you for it but I might mention it. Now, this serves a purpose at times- I get to pass on the wisdom my mother taught me at a young age, such as slurping is the devil. However, on the flipper flopper, it closes much of my being off. When I'm annoyed, kindness seems to fly out the window. I can only focus on the behavior immediately violating my norms.
I really love learning, especially those draining/life viewpoint changing/beautiful lessons... and for some reason, these are the kinds of lessons I've been facing a lot lately. Rapid succession. It makes me feel lucky.
So if you only think with/assume/conclude/and act on love, what happens? If I could be disciplined enough to totally avoid mentally falling into the annoyance zone I think I could blow up the whole world with kind-sunshiney-love-sparkles. Seriously, it's the new goal.
Now here's the thing, annoyances are valid, as all feelings are... but unlike other feelings, they are only triggers. They're like a smokescreen for other problems that reside at a deeper level, so in this way they are valid. Because really, why does the occasional slurp or shuffle mean it's OK to verbally murder your fellow man. They act as pitfalls in quite a literal sense. I fall into them often. It allows me to blame something insignificant, instead of actually thinking about what is really at fault. It gives you permission to be a total bitch in response to undeserving, nominal stimuli. But, that's a huge lie. Acting like a raging meanie is not permissible ever. No one deserves to be the unassuming target. No one warrants the luxury of being cruel to any degree.
Some other things I pondered relating to the delicate matter of annoyances: I'm probably way more annoying than any of my unassuming victims of picky rage.
True Life: We're all really fucking annoying.
Part II: Why is it OK to have the lowest patience level with people you love most? Why is it so much easier to accept the total stranger's annoying habits and not those of the people who want the best for you/love you the most/you love the most? I know time spent with the other is an issue here, but isn't more a matter of the heart? Maybe it's one the ways absolute earthly love and hate kind of line up.
Finally, here's the thing: Don't get me wrong- I've never completely blown up on someone (outside of a giggle/yell during a particularly stressful Open House rehearsal) but it consumes me in the worst ways... the silent ways, the grit your teeth ways, the I don't want to enjoy your company because you're chewing too loud ways. Increased tolerance is never bad and I'm searching for it in new ways. A limited level of patience will only lead to a limited capacity for learning and feeling from the others' perspectives, and that is a devastating thought.
So here's to being your best best and never taking a love lesson for granted. Let's blow up the world with enormous explosions of patience-love-kindness-sparkles and never use another's shuffle or weird throat eating noises as an excuse to explode hate-meanness-impatience on their unassuming beings. In doing so, I bet we turn out to be less annoying too... because if you are sending out your best, wouldn't you naturally cater to all those around you, even on a subconscious level?
Please do give me your thoughts, peepz!
Peace and Love!
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