The conflict between wanting to be free and loved has been on my mind for the past few days. I'm still not quite sure as to why human beings want to be free to act and do as they please, while ultimately desiring nothing else but to be loved in the context of a committed relationship. Don't get me wrong, I understand that some simply want one or the other, but the goal of realizing both ideals seems to be the general goal for most. Thinking about this has made me attempt to answer several questions about what I want and what I want to look for. Coming out of a two year long relationship has made me value my freedom more now than ever. I realize that being on my own has made me much more courageous in many respects. I've also been forced to reevaluate existing relationships. I've enjoyed the free time. I had free time before, but it wasn't this kind. I have no worries free time for the most part. It's very different than free time, while in a relationship. I've been able to reconnect with many important people from my past, including some family members. I have always had a vested interest in the well being of all the people in my life, only now I get to act on it.
In a few weeks, I'll be moving back up to East Lansing and starting class (hopefully the right ones). Once again my priorities will temporarily trade places. I have high hopes and expectations for my third year of college. However, I don't plan on missing out on my family or friends. I learned that lesson already. Keep in touch with the people you love. Maybe these are the people who will help me find the ultimate feelings of freedom and love simultaneously. This just got sappy.
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